— Brand New
— My favorite quote. (via sleepy-bat)
I am a soul, a mind, an evolving story. Created by the desperations of wanting a perfect baby girl. High hopes and expectations formed my skin and bones. Protected by the blessings that came before me, looking down on the innocence wrapped in a pink blanket. Three years passed of this unconditional love, until the love became more mature. Too mature for a child- a toddler- to understand. I am the product of hiding under the covers, hushed by his voice. I have been formed by the choking hands of guilt and shame. Betrayed by the deoxyribonucleic acid that gives me life. Brought out of my own innocence by the harsh games that I did not want to play. Fooled by the ignorance that came with my age. Years passed on. I am the boldness of my first act of defiance. I am the self assertive eight year old that took a stand. No more games. No more dark closets or closed bathroom doors. I am the fourteen year old girl that battles her nightmares and reality. Balancing a bottle of vodka and a small capsule of pills in one hand while the other digs deep into her hip. Searching for answers from somewhere. Anywhere. But no matter how much life slips down my legs out of those gently formed lines, the answers evade. The silence that once reigned me in, nurturing my self-hatred skips from my veins to his mouth. Swallowing my vengeance and anger with the truth of all those years. I am the product of unfortunate events. Placed in a broken home. But I am the seventeen year old girl that can hold her own hand. The girl that knows no silence. A creation bathed in strength, dignity and fight. A young woman who sees beyond the chamber of the high school walls. rewarded with insight of the cruelty of the world. Yes I am the product of a fucked up world. But I am more than a body. More than an object. More than a toy to undress and explore. I am a vessel of hardship-full of depth and full of hope- waiting for the next challenge to conquere. Waiting for the next person to prove wrong. Because I am more than just a damn body.